The conversation

So my hard working hubby is at work the other day. He has been filing in as a sales manager the last month.

Boss: Wow this territory has never looked better. It has not been at its potential for years.

Hubby: Thanks, It took a lot of work but it can actually make money now

Boss: I know you have been breaking sales records since you took over, that is what makes this so strange to say

Hubby: yes

Boss: We gave the position to someone else.

A few more phone calls this week about how wonderful it is and all. Today its officially hubby gets transfered back to his old job, new guys gets a beautiful cleaned up money making terrority.

My hubby has always believed that is you work hard and do a good job, you get rewarded. Today's company's don't seem to operated under that guise anymore. Hubby's old job let him go after 28 years so they could replace him with someone making 1/2 of what he did. they also did it a week before his anniversary so they wouldn't have to pay him any additional vacation pay.

His current company is a good one. They seem to dangle the carrot to everyone and then pull it away after you met their goals. Even the guy that got the job, has been strung along for almost a year so I am glad on one hand that they finally gave him what they had promised him. Although at one point they also promised this job to my hubby. Now they have my hubby thinking another job might be his once it opens up, yet we know they have also said the same thing to others.

I am so grateful for hubby's job, the pay is 1/3 what he made before and we barely scrape by so a promotion would of been nice. But he has health benefits and all. And a job is a job in this economy.

I pray that he keeps his job and I hope there maybe a silver lining in all this. I just wish sometimes companies remembered their employees were people. Seems record profits for some, or what about all the years recently companies were successful, shouldn't they have saved for a rainy day?

Parenting An Only Child

Any parents of only children out there?


I love having one child. Lots of people don't understand. Even before I found out I couldn't have anymore kids, I still though I might be done with one.

There are many advantages and some struggles. This week is a week of struggles. My son just doesn't fit in. He lacks a social maturity of his peers. His ability to navigate the "saviness" of the playground. The other kids cheat at times or manipulate things to get their way. There is a give and take. My son just gets upset. When kids tease (and its not mean at all) he cries. His friends get mad when they lose and he is gracious loser. He does kick their buts in some games.

My son is sweet, sensitive and honest. Things I thought were good qualities yet I feel like have failed him. Somehow he hasn't developed the skills he need to get along with his peers. He cant navigate 3rd grade and is getting left behind. He frustrates his peers.

I have been watching 2nd and 1st graders also this week. At times he is more comfortable with them but lately he gets frustrated with them. For the same reasons his 3rd grade friends get frustrated with him. Leaving him in no mans land in the middle. He is also the youngest kid in his class.


Have I screwed up as a parent? I had him in a friendship club this year at school to work on social skills, he plays a sport, belongs to Sunday school, I do play dates and this babysitting so he gets the exposure to other kids.

Any ideas?

Surgery Tomorrow

So I finally am getting my port a cath out. Its been in 7 years and has been used weekly for years and lately every three weeks for my Herceptin. I had it put in right before my first treatment in Dec 2001.

A lot has happened in those 7 years, marriage broke up, moved to a new city and a new way of life, fell in love, got remarried, a few cancer is back scares, a few health scares for my family and lots of ups and downs.

My one constant through all of this is my son. He amazes me everyday. Despite his developmental delays and dyspraxis, his sensory integration and interpersonal issues, he is a happy, healthy and adorable kid. He is so smart. He brings home mostly A's. He works so hard and always tries his best.He is empathetic, sweet and a good kid, who wears his heart on his sleeve. I am so proud of him.

This year I got to see so many changes in him. First off he is close to 60 inches!!!! He more organized, does his work independently, has really been telling funny stories and eats more. He plays water polo and loves being goalie and we have watched him learn to swim. Its so amazing to see him in the pool. he really has a confidence and has found his niche. He was interviewed for our local news on Saturday. I never knew I could love a person this much. I am such a lucky mom and proud of him.

So tomorrow I have to go under general anesthesia am not too happy about this. It makes me sick. A few months ago, I dreamed I died due to my port. Then last night, my grandparents and a few other deceased relatives came to me in a dream. They told me they were waiting for me. So I am a complete crazy anxious mess over this surgery. I am lucky to have such a great hubby who loves me and is putting up with me.

Life's been crazy this week, a problem with a teacher, My mom and I both fell and hurt our right foots and left knees, hubby's job has been a mess. I feel like there is a black cloud and now the surgery.

I have the best friends and family and they have been there for me all the time. I am glad they will be praying for good results tomorrow.

I am just so freaked out right now.